What 2019 has taught me?

If I can pick the hardest year of my 25 years living in my life. Then in 2019, it is, after 2015. But before I came up with three best lessons that 2019 taught me, I would express my deep gratitude to God for giving me blessings that up until today I still alive and become a better of myself after a series of a roller coaster in 2019. The reasons why I share this my very personal life is might be one of you who read this might have the same experience or could resonate with the ambiance of the same feeling that we went through. As a human being, I were having a common feeling with others indeed comforting and give us not only support but also not feeling alone. So here it is.

Blessings

I can’t lie that 2019 is as also as wonderful as any other day. At the beginning of 2019, I got two wonderful news. I was accepted in a full scholarship for taking a master’s degree in Australia. In the major that I have been deeply concerned about and I dig it for a few years. It is also my dream to be a lecturer in political science once I finished my master’s. A few days later, another good news came. I was accepted in one of the prestigious jobs that I have competed with hundreds of thousands of participants. Sounds so crazy right? I might only be lucky to be one of the 160 selected participants to be accepted among 160.000 candidates. I was shaking so much to choose between those options. Later on, I will share the details of the experiences and it might be a good tip for you to do read. Fast forward to the end of 2019, I feel so blessed that my family got a new member, a nephew, a handsome one, finally after waiting for 5 years, our family got a new member and it’s a boy hahahha. 2019 also marked my journey of going abroad after the absence since 2017. It is a year that I felt so grateful of.

Letting Go

I love you but I am letting go, might suit the best to summarize what 2019 has taught me with. Starting at the beginning of the year where I should say goodbye to my very wonderful teamwork in my previous work. It is indeed a great lost since I owe them as a family, a warm one. There is nothing to describe how sincere and understanding they are as a coworker. Best partner ever to work with. Moving forward, I need to learn how sad to let go of a soul mate, a dearest one that I had close since 2011, or 8 years in the count. You know that you will feel deeply hollow when a part of you that you have for the third part of your life is gone. A very miserable break up ever. This caused me a huge time to heal and I might share later in a more thorough story. We were almost get married. But the universe has maybe found its way to split us as the best way. Letting go also applied to whoever and whatever things that make me uncomfortable in my life. And I start to listen to myself more.

Survival

Working in a completely new work field is truly challenging. Especially when they put you in a place that you never live or even visited before, like a completely new place to survive with three hours flight away from your home. And I should also fly once a month to come home. Is it tiring yes? Is it cost so much yes? But feeling longing is desperate and expensive. Be grateful for you that surrounded by loved you dearly. Every day is a new challenge with many difficulties, especially when you had a deep scar and unstable emotions you dealt with related to your feelings but you need to remain strong for the work and for the people that loved you dearly. In order to support myself to survive, I finally decided to get professional help. I had a routine session with one of the psychologists that I feel comfortable with to consult with. It might not be as complicated as what others might face, but for me, I need to admit it that I need help to survive, and I appreciate myself and be thankful that I did it and I passed through it. Based on this, I might want to share some of my experience in dealing and healing this and it might give you also an insight if we ever crossed the same path.

Truly 2019 is hard, but it also gives me a stronger version of me right now. I am glad I survived and mark that year as a very great lesson to learn. And you also.

You might want to use this pict below to write what 2019 has taught you